Indefinate

Blackened hearts and opened scars The things that tear worlds apart Sitting heavy on the chest of someone's lonliness. A heart still beating bare Nothing to hide it's shadows Lying indefinately in distilled air Deep inside it's almost hollow Throwing salt on this wound Hurts more than ever but i will close. Even though it's bleeding through it's not confused. The blood will cease It'll heal and all you'll see is a scar. A memory and thoughts that have gone stale. The tracks on a path of action that may have decreased, Nothing Left but a scar, a heart, and a memory.

Random 003

Yellow is the color of her insides It's a shame she is shakin to the core. Driven far away from self distruction Fading into wanting something so much more. Heavily consuming, not consumption, arriving at a place she'll never be. Everytime she cries its like combustion, Ashes burning the bonds of you and me. Then there's nothing left to run away from, Then there's nothing left to be afraid of, Cuz there's no remorse In eternity.

Random 002

We ned to fight for our rights Not about what is wrong. People won't listen to each other but they'll listen to that song. All so willing and so able No one comes to turn the tables Everyone wants to see change but they don't make time to arrange their plans and learn the truth. It's steady when we do. in this diary I write Because I do not want to fight A battle never won. A sword cannot be drawn if there's no blood to be shed. If I don't start a war than I won't end up dead. By death we do suffer if there's so much regret.

Random 001

Even though there is so much to come How do we tell time? What moments are best? What moments are worst? How do I express what I feel? Close but not close enough. I'm gay but I'm not. I'm straight but I'm not. in this world full of hate Where people procreate How can we be so judgemental? No one bashes them for leaving Al all the promises are broken All the names they're calling each other in the open. How do you resolve a war that cannot be broken? How do you read a book you cannot open?

Moments Surreal

There is a dream
Laying within my hands

I cannot sleep
Giving into it's demands

I cannot run
There is no going away

I cannot stay
or else these dreams will fall

Let these wings carry me
So far
No one can bury me
With the weight of this old reality

Let the light of the sun surround
The might of this world around
The time that the clock is ticking
Today could be my last

If I cease to live tomarrow
No one could say I died in sorrow
Or mope to say I haven't done my best

I don't know

1)

Honesty,

The best policy

Can either elate or hurt.

Everything t hat’s not about numbers is words.

How do you communicate feelings?

Sometimes when talking,

Maybe I should give you warning?

How do you vent and not offend,

When you’re intentions were never to hurt at all?

2)

You’re face looked so sad,

Probably shed tears when I left.

I should have never talked with you

About problems before work.

Lately it’s been hard to find time.

Lack of communication is pulling us apart.

Is it my fault?

Is it yours?

What is this mess of silence we can’t fill?

Stinging thoughts hurt my head

Words spinning and replaying over.

It was those fucked up things I said. 

When communication is failing what can we see? 

I feel as if we're being torn apart, 

This feeling of being left out.

You,

You always think I'm going to leave.

Though a thousand times I've told you

I'm not interested in anyone else but you. 

Yeah, 

I may have said I need some company

But that doesn't mean I'm going to cheat or leave. 

I just need to meet some new people because I don't want to be lonely. 

So should I lay here and let lonliness get the best of me? 

Trying to find inner piece is hard enough as it is...

How else can we really live? 

What if I can't talk to you about my shit? 

Who can I run to if not you?

That's why I always go to you first. 

But I can't anymore because no matter what I say it hurts...

Am I going to feel forever alone or out of place?

It's like seeing the stems of a flower in space. 

It doesn't make any sense. 

May the answers to my problems are finding a new way to vent.

3)

I'm scared of when I see you later.

I'm scared you're going to be mad. 

I let the situation linger in my head

In the blink of an eye you slammed the door angry

In a different instance you walked in 

Never acknowledging my presence and just walked by. 

The last one  you looked and me and walked in. 

You kissed my lips and told me you talked about it with a friend.

Told me that it was fucked up what I said, but everything's going to be okay. We can work it out. 

4)

Is it wrong that I've been feeling this way? 

O don't know how to be happy.

I only know how to be okay. 

No. 

That was a lie. 

There have been peaceful times.

Then again, I'm not going to run and hide. 

Life is about learning, living, and finding ways to stay alive.

Remnant stains of tidal waves
Crash on shore and turn a page

Being so close and yet so far
From chasing dreams days before

Logic's as light as feather dust
Thoughts will never turn to rust

In tournaquets and lucid dreams
I've seen the shoreline slow in stream

A vivid mind's memory
Surely awaits what a future brings